Eight new stockmarket terms
“Sally,” says my friend RegenKen. “I know you’re a wiz at P/E ratio, moving averages and double backward candlestick charts - especially of the scented variety - but are you up to date with the latest market lingo?”
“Um, no.”
“This is the word on the street right now. Go share with your readers.”
1. BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
2. BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get pocket money
3. VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
4. STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
5. STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
6. MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
7. CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
8. PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use